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I have now seen and heard it all!  The latest hot trend in fitness is pole dancing.  Yes, the pole has made its way into mainstream, fitness center classrooms.  Women of all shapes and sizes are spinning, twirling, and climbing their way to a sleeker, more toned body.  The workout promises to build muscle, improve posture, flexibility, burn calories, and improve confidence.  I can see how a workout like this could accomplish all of these purposes.  Hmmmmn, I am always up to trying new things, but unless this pole has a ladder attached to it, I’m not quite sure I can do it.

I am trying to visualize myself in a pole dance class.  The instructor leads us through a floor warm up, involving stretches and rhythmic movements.  After warm up we are instructed to put on our high heels, so that isn’t a problem.  The first problem arises as i take command of the pole.  We are to circle the pole, holding it with one hand.  Then, like a monkey swinging his way through the jungle, we are to jump up onto the pole.  Slinging my body against the pole, and gripping it with my thighs, I realize that I have misjudged that my upper body strength equals my lower body mass.  Immediately I find myself spinning around the pole, head down.  The concerted amount of effort it takes to pull my upper body back up is more than a little awkward, as I grunt and groan my way, breathlessly, to the pole again.  Taking into consideration that I am about as flexible as an ironing board, the moves required to find myself in that predicament in the first place would surely have pulled and strained every muscle in my body.  Since I am not a quitter, I visualize that I am now one with the pole, particularly since my 4-inch, spike heel is now lodged in my mouth!  Mind over matter tells me that this is an easy fix.  A few days of Ben Gay and ice packs will have me up and going again.  I’m such a dreamer!

It would take a lot more nerve and some significant weight loss before I would venture into an organized class and publicly humiliate myself.  I’m sticking to my hula-ho0p.  I can do that with bare feet, dancing upright.  Aside from breaking things that I hoop into, it’s relatively harmless.

To order your home fitness pole, go to Flirty Girl Fitness

11 thoughts on “Pole Dance Your Way to Fitness

  1. I don’t know what i was expecting before I clicked on that link–but it surely wsn’t that! Oh my God! I think I’ll leave the pole dancing alone and go for the bed post–it’s a lot more sturdier.

    Thanks for the laugh this morning!

  2. Okay, now I’ve seen it all!!! My pole would probably plop over like the one in the video leaving me and my ample hips struggling to rise from the floor and the humiliation. I guess it’s time to admit that stripper poles are probably not in my future!

  3. Pingback: Rosie’s Boomer Review » Blog Archive » » Wii Fit, Zumba, Now Pole Dancing?

  4. Yes, Big Girls Can Pole Dance Too. You can check out more information on my website at http://www.biggirlspoledancetoo.com. While some moves may be difficult if you don’t practice regularly or work on your upper body and core moves, the basic moves of pole dance are not all that difficult. As with any new exercise regime, practice makes perfect and WE big girls can do WHATEVER WE CHOSE.

  5. One more thing….If you are looking into purchasing flirty girl fitness, please know that their poles are not designed to fit LARGER women and in addition, they urged women of our stature to not participate in this kind of routine. The owners of Flirty Girl Fitness, incidentally the wives of several NBA players, were featured in an article in Essence Magazine stating that fact. Here’s to proving all the little girls wrong!

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