What’s Santa’s secret? I’m not talking about how he is able to globe trot from rooftop to rooftop to every house on the planet, in a matter of hours. I’ve long since given up trying to figure that one out. Nor do I comprehend how he can remember everything that is on millions of people’s wish list. I struggle to remember the few requests that I receive.
What I want to know is how he can be so fit and agile, and be, shall we say, fluffy?
He eats all those cookies when he makes his rounds. He’s obviously not stressed, because he is always so jolly. Seeing that he is at least a couple of hundred years old, he has outlived all of his peers. Of course, he does have a factory full of elves that do the bulk share of the preparation and work. I would be a lot less stressed if I had that many people working for me! And for the final kick in the pants, he lives at the North Pole, the coldest of the cold places on earth.
So why doesn’t he age? Is it the cold air that keeps his head clear and free from worry, and his skin so vacant of wrinkles? Is it the elves who take the load off his shoulders? He doesn’t exercise but one time per year, so it isn’t aerobic activity that has granted him longevity. He obviously doesn’t lift weights or his belly wouldn’t jiggle like a bowl full of jelly. He downs more carbs in a single night than most of us eat in a lifetime. Yet, he doesn’t have any heart or health problems. He rests for 364 days per year and works for one. That should add years to anybody’s life. He’s ageless!
So what’s Santa’s secret? It must be the dairy! Eating dairy twice per day aids in weight loss. Santa doesn’t lose any weight, but he can maintain by eating his yogurt or drinking all that milk. Yeah, it’s the dairy.
When you’re eating the cookies that were left for “you” this year, remember to take a big swig of that milk, too. It will add years to your life.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
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